Hi. It's been months!! Haha. Maybe I should just close this blog and be done with it.

I sometimes get kind of pissed off when people say "government kerja lembap" and the private sector is like the most efficient thing on planet Earth. Mungkin ada a few government people yang sucks at their job maka menjejaskan sistem penyampaian. But that cannot be concluded for all the people in the public sector. Hello people, private sector pun ain't that efficient you know. Ambil masa yang lama untuk hantar report, finally hantar but isi kosong and they didn't even bother to send the original copy. They just faxed it so all I can see is a few papers full of black ink. Genius. Moral of the story: Tiada yang sempurna. And I find that people can really talk like nobody's business when it comes to other people's job. Kerja kau macam mana? Dah cukup habis baik ke kau buat?

I sometimes think I always make wrong decisions. And right now is one of those times. But it is always too late whenever I realize it.

I wanna go on a holiday. I want to go away. Get away. Awayyy.. Visiting Matta Fair this weekend will be a good idea.

Also, I am thinking of changing this blog's link. Or tutup terus and bukak baru. It doesn't matter that nobody even read it. Just for the sake of writing since my diary is completely abandoned nowadays. I need to write but I'm too lazy to write pun so watpe nak ada blog? Or maybe I need to start writing back in my diary? Maybe.

I am bored. I made the wrong decision. Oh swell.

My life since last Thursday had been miserable. And I mean really. This one thing really bugs me, affect me more than I could imagine. I think about it a lot, I cried bucketfull and to the extent that when I'm alone I'll get all moody, mourning macam ada kematian, teary-eyed, crying and everything. Sampai I had to take an EL yesterday sebab duduk kat ofis pun memang takde mood nak buat kerja. Dah tu macam mana nak buat kerja kalau asyik menangis je?

Anyway friends, be careful with everything you do in life 'cause as Queenie (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) quoted,

You never know what's coming to you.

As for me, I hope I'll survive this horror.

sori Azi. Ni je gambar senonoh yang ade. Hehe

A friend asked me, "Mai, ko dah tak tulis blog ke?". So here goes one post, all dedicated specially to you kawan. Heheh.



This friend of mine is my peneman hari-hari suka duka. She is always there setiap hari bila aku balik rumah (sebab dia housemate aku. Hehe). She wrote me the sweetest speech ever in the wedding card she gave me till I cried. She has been through a lot lately. I couldn't imagine how I will survive if I were in her place..



To Aziah, I dedicate this song especially for you:





I believe that in time my heart will heal again
And I believe that in time my heart will feel again
So I keep on holding on
So I keep on being strong

Cos I know one day I'm gonna feel again


I know one day I'm gonna feel again
And I know although my heart hurts now
I'll find a way to get up off the ground
Cos I know one day I'm gonna feel again

I believe that this heart of mine can make it through
And I believe that my heart can make it over you


So I keep on holding on
So I keep on being strong

And though it's hard for me to breathe
And even harder to believe
I know that one day I'm gonna find
I'm gonna be just fine

Sebab I know you are strong!

Here's wishing you all the best in life and di tempat baru. Good luck finding the you-know-what. Hehe. I will miss you and kehidupan bujang kita :)

Tengok ticker tepi nun.

1 month until our Big Day!

One month!! Kiki.. :)

Haven't been updating for quite some time. Yeah, I know I started my almost every post with that sentence or something similar. Heheh. Ape nak buat. I'm a lazy bum and I admit it.

The only reason I am writing this right now is because I'm sooo sleepy sampai tengah menulis deraf surat boleh terpejam mata. That is weird sebab pagi tadi aku tak mengantuk langsung. Terjadi mengantuk lepas brunch tadi. I think the makcik mi kicap terbubuh banyak ajinomoto lah dalam sup dia hari ni. So, I'm hoping by writing this, mata boleh kembali segar dan boleh sambung kerja.

You know, I have been meaning to talk about Maher Zain for quite some time now after seeing all the hype and news about him everywhere. Even in the office hari-hari berkumandang lagu Maher Zain. So, let me tell you the story of Maher and I (ewah ewah macam kisah cinta pulak).

I got to know Maher I think when he was not yet a name in Malaysia, somewhere around March this year. Maybe he was known to some people back then but not really a household name yet. My sister (I'm not sure from where she heard about him) was the one who introduced me to Maher Zain. An avid listener, she downloaded most of his song and she had been pestering me to have a listen! Masa tu aku rasa "ee.. pengacau betul la dia nih". Haha. So, one day after dia membebel-bebel lagi, I finally listened to him. Masa tu aku tengah surfing Internet pinjam her laptop and I asked my sister to play him in the background.

My first thought was "Not bad". I was never really a heavy fan of nasyid. Dengar tapi gitu-gitu jela. But as you all probably already know by now, Maher's nasyid is different. There is a little something there. So, I asked my sister to burn a cd for me. And, one day while I was waiting for Ashton to warm up, she slipped a cd inside the car's player without me knowing. Then, as I was just leaving, she messaged me saying "Cd Maher Zain ada dalam kereta hang". And so, I listened to Maher all along my journey to Ipoh over and over again.

Since then, cd tu tak pernah keluar lagi dari player tu and selalu jugak la terpasang. Hehe.

Among all the songs, I personally like Thank You Allah. Simply because of the simple message and how touching the song and lyrics are.

When my sister went to his showcase, she called me during Ya Nabi Salam Mualaika, For The Rest of My Life and Barakallah so that I can listen too. But too bad, he did not sang my favourite song. Hmm.. takpelah. Lain kali dia buat concert nak cuba pergi.

I wonder bila pulak Sami Yusuf akan glamour di Malaysia?

My sister is getting married in 3 days. Like 3 days! 3 hari okeh. Macam tinggal 3 hari je lagi untuk dia bergelar anak dara. Omaigod. Haha. Time flew so fast kan? It seems like only yesterday that we played camping with upturned sofa yang diselimutkan dengan selimut untuk jadi khemah! Hehe.

I don't know how I feel. I feel excited though. Can't wait nak start cuti sebab nak balik rumah tolong kemas-kemas, tolong buat hantaran, tolong menyibuk dan jadi buruh kasar. Can't wait nak pakai baju lace purple baru!!

Things will surely change a lot lepas ni kan? Dia akan ada rumah baru, extra family, other commitments. Nanti I balik Tepeng every weekend mesti dia takde kat rumah dah kan? Hmm.. nak gaduh dengan sape nanti? Raya nanti camne? I will be married too by then.. How's mak and ayah's raya's gonna be nanti? Hoho.

My sister, I never once called her kakak. I referred her as 'kakak aku' when talking to others about her but never once I called her kakak. Never. Mak pernah sound kenapa tak panggil kakak. But it was never practised since never. So, how suddenly in these older years nak start panggil kakak? But she is my only kakak in the true kakak sense even though I have 2 kakak. (Ape ni banyak sungguh perkataan kakak??). Those who knew my family well will know what I meant. Let's just say I am the middle sister in the family. Ada sorang kakak dan seorang 'adik' :)

To my dear kakak, I wish you the most beautiful wedding and may you be blessed with lots of happiness and children (aku nak jadi makcik!!). And perkahwinan ni aku doakan kekal sampai akhir hayat. I hope you will love the present I got you!! Hihi.

Kepada Fazrul (or abang Fazrul?? hehe), sila jaga kakak saya baik-baik. Jangan bagi saya menyesal ajar dia mengorat awak dulu. Hehheh.

Me and my kakak. While we were cruising Kuala Sepetang looking for fireflies.

The only picture I could find in my PC :)

I am still in the office. Bukan rajin bekerja tapi ada bukak pose free nanti. Makan free kenapa nak tolak kan? Stayback sebab rasa nak buat kerja. Tapi sekarang rasa takde moodnya nak buat kerja. Effect cuti panjang sangat?

Tak baik tau macam tu. Dah kena sound dengan Amar "B ni tak baik tau camtu. Dah la dapat 500". Owh, suci murninya dia ni. Huhu.

A friend's mom meninggal dunia recently. Aku rasa sedih.. And I kept thinking about that ever since. Kenapa ye? Lately, there have been a lot of things running in my mind. And I think most of them are inappropriate. Perkara yang tak patut difikirkan. Kalau fikir jugak memang akan menyusahkan aku satu hari nanti.

Whatever. Sorry, aku bosan dan rasa menyampah.

Hari tu aku rasa macam dah terjumpa tudung nikah. Yang ini sama kes dengan baju (love at first sight!). Hihi. Bila tengok je terus suka. Dalam hati fikir kalau tak pakai untuk nikah pun nanti nak pakai untuk hari-hari biasa. Sebab tudung tu nampak suci, simple, comel, cute, putih bersih dan segala macam lagilah kata-kata pujian yang ada.

Dia adalah sejenis tudung Syria. Tunjuk kat Amar dia cakap okay cun! (dengan tanda seru skali). Tapi bila tunjuk kat mak dan kakak mereka cakap macam tudung Indon. Haha. Tapi Amar cakap memangla fashion from Indon. Kan ke tudung Ariani tu pun amik nama sempena Ibu Ariani yang cerita ape tu eh? Mutiara Hati kalau tak silap. I was thinking of getting tudung awning untuk majlis nanti. So, kalau nikah pakai this type and sanding tudung awning taklah nampak sama sangat kan since both themes will be white (tula degil sangat nak buat kaler putih semua)

Berikut adalah tudung yang diperkatakan. Indon tak? (Abaikan muka bulat comot tu)


Tapi kenapa saya rasa tudung ni sangat sweet?

Dewan semakin hampir. Bermakna masa durjana yakni episod menggelapkan dalam sejarah kerjaya bakal datang. Ya tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, masa susah tak pernah berakhir.

Minta nyatakan..

Ingin menanya kepada tott..

Menanya kepada tott..

Menanya menanya menanya.. Satu dunia meh weh tanya meh.

Mood terus hilang bila dapat tau petang ni kena stayback. Kacau plan betul. Di saat aku selalu rela hati stayback kat office tak pernah plak ada arahan kena stayback kan. Bila ada plan tu, time tu la dapat wahyu, memo, buku fotostat kulit biru setebal buku teks sejarah sekolah bagai (dah nipis sket sebab fotostat both sides).

Nak jawapan hari Khamis. What the eff?? Bestnyaaaaa.. Wo wee best best beeeest! Kenapa tak mintak jawapan tu semalam aje kan kan?

By the way kawan-kawan, Alhamdulillah Izan dah selamat bersalin baby boy seberat 3.25 kg (wow! besar kan?) jam 1.45 petang tadi. Bolehla sume pi lawat dia kat Hospital Pantai okay.

I am feeling low and down today. Kejadian semalam plus I don't know what other things affect me more than I thought it would. Yeah, I'm easily affected that way.

Hari ni aku tak keluar lunch. Duduk office settling my work. Miracle. Kadang-kadang bosan dengan kerja aku bukak Internet. Makan tengah hari pun tak. Walaupun ada orang offer belanja saya Sushi King! Oh God, why in the world did I ever refuse that? Like I said, miracle.

I don't know how to say what is on my mind. Just numb. And I have like this hate feeling. Hate? Nah, maybe that's too strong. I just wanna lie down and curl in my bed. I feel sick. Even when Amar called just now, I was talking half-heartedly. He was just trying to help.. I'm bad. Aku gila. Whatever.

I have a feeling I'm going to be really really hungry in 30 minutes. The mi kicap effect dah nak hilang =(

Kalau orang tak buat kerja, patut ke kita pulak yang buat kerja dia? Tak patut kan? Patutnya kita marah la dia, paksa dia buat kerja.

Wei, buat kerja la wei. Buat!

Kerja sendiri dah cukup banyak kenapa kena tanggung kerja orang lain pulak. That's shit.

Puan X: Cik Mai kenapa tak approve friend request saya kat Facebook? Kita nak tengok gambar dia

Cik Mai: Aaa? Urm.. Ar.. tunggula nanti kalau saya dapat hidayah atau ilham dalam mimpi baru saya approve. Hihi

Haha. Maaf. Polisi saya tak approve friend request dari rakan kerja seangkatan. Saya dan Anne yang memang baik kamceng tu pun dah sama sefahaman tak mo jadi kawan each other dalam Facebook. Berkawan dalam dunia sebenar sudah. Sebab ape ye? Entah. It feels weird and I personally think, I will feel restricted and no longer feel free in the Facebook world! Haha.

In fact, I no longer approve friend request from strangers. Walaupun privacy policy Facebook sekarang ni dah meragukan dan tak terjamin, kita buat jelah apa yang termampu kan nak protect kita punya account. Was thinking on doing a spring cleaning on my friend list, buang semua yang tak kenal tapi main approve je dulu tapi belum berkesempatan. Maybe later.

Saya floooo hari ini dari pagi sampai petang tak kering-kering lagi air hidung aku ni hoi. Jadi I'm so not in the mood to work since 4.00 pm resulting in me surfing information for wedding preparation. Sorry bosses and all. Saya tahu saya tidak integriti petang ini.

So, my kad kahwin vendor dah reply my emails. Sangat cepat bekerja dan senang betul. Let's hope yang proses design and everything lepas ni akan senang jugak. And hope jugak the colour we chose will turn out okay! :)

Photographer pun ada a few yang dah balas my emails. Dah dapat quotations and now it is time for decisions decisions. Tapi kan I actually already have this one photographer in mind. Dari awal masa thinking about photographer and after my sister suggested aku macam dah nekad nak ambik dia ni. Kenapa ye? Ntah. Dia macam kes first love dengan baju tu la kot. Atau sebenarnya dah malas nak survey!! Haha. Besides harga yang photographer lain kasi macam a bit pricey for my budget. I can afford to pay but I don't think I can afford paying that much just for photography. Yes, I know pictures are worth a thousand words, believe me, I know and I value the importance (pernah gaduh dengan Amar ok pasal ni sebab awal-awal dulu dia tak nak amik wedding photographer! Horror gile!!). So, aku ingat nak book je tarikh dia ni and nanti call untuk nego the package and all.

Aku perasan yang cara bekerja aku dalam prepare wedding ni macam tak kisah sangat and just nak things settle cepat. Macam get it done and over with. Tangkap muat. Boleh camtu? Haha

Eclipse is better than New Moon and at par with Twilight.

Sebaris ayat ulasan sahaja sebab malas nak review movie. Hehe.

Misi hujung minggu sukses!! Oleh itu, tak mengapalah kalau aku terpaksa melepaskan peluang white water rafting kat Gopeng sedangkan aku dah lama teringin mengigau benda tu. Huhu

Misi itu sebenarnya misi wedding preparation. Hehe. Let's see what have I done so far.

Kad kahwin : Ordered. Tunggu feedback from the vendor.

Baju reception Taiping : Booked!! Finally after much consideration and hesitation aku ambil jugak the 1st baju yang aku suka dalam banyak-banyak baju yang disurvey. Ini kira macam baju 1st love. Bila tengok yang ni dah suka and terus tengok baju lain walau cantik jugak tapi takde hati. The only problem tak ambil awal-awal is because it's a wee bit pricey. Tapi Amar yang bantu aku buat keputusan. Mungkin sebab dah bosan tengok aku duduk muka buntu merenung baju tu lama-lama. Haha. I guess he knew I badly wanted it and terus cakap "Ok encik. Ambik jelah baju ni sekarang book". Dalam hati mesti kata "Ei.. pompuan ni. Kalo dah suka tu ambik jelaaa". Haha. Harga? Itu tolak belakang. Huhu.

Baju nikah : Dah hantar kat tailor dan dia kata akan siapkan before raya. Hopefuly cantik nanti. Risau harga je pulak ni. Hehe

Photographer : Still looking

Hantaran : Halfway done. Paling penting akan dapat jugak bag idaman hati!!

Pelamin, meja makan etc. : Akan book nanti. Dah tau mana yang nak. Tinggal nak book je

Phew. Macam dah banyak je aku buat kan kan? Yang lain kita kayuh pelan-pelan k. Bulan 12 macam lambat lagi kan? :)

Isnin : 7.57
Selasa : 7.57
Rabu : 8.02
Khamis : 7.59
Jumaat : 8.04

Jadual punch card saya untuk minggu ini. Malang tak berbau sebab selalu terbabas tido menyebabkan lambat dan driving sambil marah kereta depan yang bawak slow.

Hari Khamis aku pakai tudung bawal okay je sampai ofis sipi-sipi. Hari ni aku pakai shawl kenapa lewat 4 minit sedangkan aku bangun pagi tadi 6.40?? Sebenarnya salah sendiri. Jangan cuba salahkan tudung bawal. Sekian.

Saya sedang mengalami sindrom petang Jumaat (iaitu perasaan malas tak minat nak buat apa-apa hanya mahu tunggu jam 5.oo petang).

Sejak aku berjinak-jinak pakai tudung jenis shawl ni, kalau try nak pakai tudung bawal/tudung biasa jenis kotak segiempat sama (iaitu tudung selain shawl panjang la) mesti jadi susah. Susah tu maksudnya nanti saje jela kan tudung tu tak boleh shape la, dah tak reti nak susun baki tudung kat depan tu dan lain-lain hal lagi.

Aku memang suka pakai shawl ni sebab tak payah nak pike tudung tak shape ke hape. Letak je kat kepala tu nah amik ko melekat tros. Tak kisah la orang kata muka aku bulat ke bujur ke petak tepak sireh ke janji senang. Kadang2 tudung tak payah gosok pun. Capai je boleh tros lilit. Everything in life should be as simple as that kan? Lagi satu kalo angin bertiup sekencang ribut taufan el-nina mesti tudung aku mantain statik takkan terbang punyalah. Dahlah design cantik2 menawan harganya semurah RM10 satu. Murah kan kan? Kan? Memang durjana penipu harga RM10 tu sebab dia memang mendorong aku borong banyak dalam sekali beli. Sebab dalam minda pike "Ala.. 10ringgit je pun kan? what de hal". Memang what the $%^#.

Staff ofis ade yang kata tak payah la pakai tudung bawal. Nampak pelik muka aku. Kat ofis ni aku je yang pakai shawl nih setakat ni. Trendsetter ke?? Haha. Except ada sorang dua budak praktikal ni. Yang lain glamour dengan tudung sinetron (awning kat depan) yang aku still belum ada minat nak apply konsep tu dalam pemakaian tudung aku. Tapi dah berangan nikah kahwin nanti nak pakai. Hehe. Ada jugak yang tanya2 camne Cik Mai lilit tudung ni? Susah ke? Siap ade yang cakap "alaa.. dah habis. tak sempat" bila time dia masuk surau aku dah siap pakai tudung (Dia tak sempat nak belajar. Wow! Layakkah aku jadi cikgu? Murid2 sekalian. Haip haip. Lilit betul2). Tahukah kakak2 sekalian, aku main pusing ikut sedap je benda ni. Hehe.

Sekarang ni ade plak fashion anak tudung syria. Macam-macam kaler, macam-macam lapis sampai lima sepuluh lapis. Aku baru nak mula kumpul. Dulu tak nak pakai sebab rasa muka macam lagi bulat bila pakai tapi then kakak aku kata "Hang ingat pakai shawl tu muka hang tak bulat ke?" Dasss.. kena satu ayat pedas. Heheh. Fine, aku tau muka aku memang bulat.

Kesimpulannya? Pakai je apa ko nak. Yang penting confident! :)

Entry ini tercipta sebab hari ni aku pakai tudung bawal. Dia tak shape. Dia bersepah kat depan walaupun dah cuba pin se'neat' mungkin. Dia membuatkan aku lambat keluar rumah, tekan minyak kereta macam madness dan sampai ofis cun2 kol8. Fuh. Patutkah aku say babai to bawal?

I hate my work sometimes. And I hate the people working around me sometimes. If only masing-masing buat kerja masing-masing properly, things would be easier. But then, manusia ni macam-macam perangai.

I'm not asking much. Aku hanya suruh kau buat kerja ko sendiri, yang memang k0 dibayar gaji untuk buat benda tu. Susah ke?

Lagi satu, gatal tangan pi amik benda atas meja aku tu nape? Lain yang aku suruh amik, lain yg ko angkat sekali. Sekarang dah hilang or misplaced or whatever lah atas meja ko yang serabut tu tahun bila pulak baru nak jumpa tu? Sheesh.