kaco!!

i haven't been in a good mood since mornin. i know my entry before sounded all happy. but in truth i erm.. i dont know to say exactly how i feel. not too happy, more than a little sad. somewhere between happy and sad. it was like there was this switch which kept switching my happy feeling on and off. and it tends to switch off more often. guess it affected me more than i realize. and this sucks!! big time

so i decided i need some time out. alone with myself to clear my head. so i went driving without any particular destination in mind. was thinking of havin lunch but my sis already ate and i dont feel like eating alone. but i need to be alone. do you get me? so i pusing2 around town until i decided for mcd's apple pie or maybe cheeseburger. but good luck was just not on my side. just when i finally made up my mind, i couldnt find a goddamn parking! merde! see. this is why we need a drivethru here peeps. xkisahla u all kata nat town ni hilang originality ke or whatever, a drivethru is kind of like an essential here. for me la, at least. so mcd, pls2 propose another plan ya. and quick. and guess i should plead to my boss too huh. haish

when i got tired of searching, i changed to kfc's cheesy wedges. and i had to pusing the block 2times before securing a parking space. tu pun behind the block (why was this town so full of ppl all of a sudden ha?) and i had to walk quite a distance. tapelah. better than nothin. bought my lunch and brambus, again to nowhere in particular. i finally stopped at some parking space in lake garden. luckily there's plenty. or else i would hv mengamok right there and then. ate my wedges while listening to the radio. ppl passing were looking and they probably thought i look like some kind of weirdo sitting alone in the car, eating. so i took out my phone and pretended i was on a call while munching on my wedges. i pretended i tgh gado on phone. and i really shouted. to myself. haaahaa. maybe i am really a weirdo after all

so then after finishing and packing i head back to the office, feeling all down and gloomier than ever. driving had always been therapeutic for me. but not today. my driving didnt really manage to cheer me up

today sucks!!

picnin cum mini reunion

i had a mini reunion last weekend. why mini? because only 3ppl managed it. although kurang korum we had a great time nevertheless! even if i received a call which kind of dampened my spirit. damn!! but then lake garden seemed such a beauty all of a sudden, i was with my friends. what more could i asked for? and so i pushed my thoughts aside. the menu was rasamas and melted secret recipe cakes. caramel cheese, blueberry cheese, classic cheese, choc indulgence. all melted. haahaa. tu la awa. xmo dgr lg ckp wahida yg suh mkn kek tu awal ;p

anyways, it was good to catch up with old friends. i haven't met them since God knows when. so we lepak, we ate, and talked, and laughed, dropped each other, lepak some more, and of course snapped some pix. and talked about a bigger, longer getaway. bleh jadi ke ni kawan2? jgn ckp je lbeh jalannye idak. heheehe. lookin forward to our big unplanned- yet holiday!!

+the very few of us who were there+

btw, keputusan pilihanraya was kind of shocking. and a bit scary.. wonder what's next huh

election is coming..

hola peeps! esok pilihanraya. the thing ppl all over the country had been so hyped up about (bosan gle selak paper ari2 all news psl plhnraya) so go vote eh everybody

exercise your right, choose your government and then stop complaining!

salut!

more stories to share

+the missing brick
once, when i and my wife were travelling, i received a fax from my secretary.
'there's one glass brick missing for the work on the kitchen renovation' she said. 'i'm sending you the original plan as well as the plan the builder has come up with to compensate for it'
on the one hand, there was the design my wife had made: harmonious lines of bricks with an opening for ventilation. on the other, there was the plan drawn up to resolve the problem of the missing brick: a real jigsaw puzzle in which the glass squares were arranged in a higgledy- piggledy fashion that defied aesthetics.
'just buy another brick' wrote my wife. and so they did, and thus stuck to the original design.
that afternoon, i thought for a long time about what had happened; how often , for the lack of one brick, we completely distort the original plan of our lives.

+destroying and rebuilding
i am invited to go to guncan- gima, the site of a zen buddhist temple. when i get there, i'm suprised to see that the extraordinarily beautiful building, which is situated in the middle of a vast forest, is right next to a huge piece of waste ground.
i asked what the waste ground is for and the man in charge explains:
'that is where we will build the next temple. every twenty years, we destroy the temple you see before you now and rebuild it again on the site next to it. this means that the monks who have trained as carpenters, stonemasons and architects are always using their practical skills and passing them on to their apprentices. it also shows them that nothing in this life is eternal, and that even temples are in need of constant improvement'

+rome: isabella returns from nepal
i met isabella in a restaurant where we usually go because it's always empty, even though the food is excellent. she tells me that, during her trip to nepal, she spent some weeks in a monastery. one afternoon, she was walking near the monastery with one of the monks, when he opened the bag he was carrying and stood for a long time studying its contents. then he said to isabella:
' did you know that bananas can teach you the meaning of life?'
he took out a rotten banana from the bag and threw it away.
'that is the life that has been and gone, and which was not used to the full and for which it is now too late'
then he drew out another banana, which was still green. he showed it to her and put it back in the bag
'this is the life that has yet to happen, and for which we need to wait until the moment is right'
finally, he took out a ripe banana, peeled it, and shared it with isabella
'this is the present moment. learn how to gobble it up without fear or guilt'

+the tea ceremony
in japan, i took part in a tea ceremony. you go into a small room, tea is served, and that's it really, except that everything is done with so much ritual and ceremony that a banal daily event is transformed into a moment of communion with the universe
the tea master, okakura kakuzo, explains what happens:
'tea ceremony is a way of worshipping the beautiful and the simple. all one's efforts are concentrated on trying to achieve perfection through the imperfect gestures of daily life. its beauty consists in the respect with which it is performed. if a mere cup of tea can bring us closer to God, we should watch out for all the other dozens of opportunities that each ordinary day offers us'

+norma and the good things
in madrid lives norma, a very special brazilian lady. the spanish call her 'the rocking grandma'. she is over sixty and works in various places, organizing promotions, parties, and concerts.
once, at about four in the morning, when i was so tired i could barely stand, i asked norma where she got all her energy from
'i have a magic calendar. i you like, i can show it to you'
the following day, i went to her house. she picked up an old, much scribbled- upon calendar.
'right, today is the day they discovered a vaccine against polio' she said. 'we must celebrate that, because life is beautiful'
on each day of the year, norma had written down something good that had happened on that date. for her, life was always a reason to be happy.

+the funny thing about human beings
a man asked my friend jaime cohen: 'what is the human being's funniest characteristic?'
cohen said: 'our contradictoriness. we are in such a hurry to grow up, and then we long for our long lost childhood. we make ourselves ill earning money, and then spend all our money on getting well again. we think so much about the future that we neglect the present, and thus experience neither the present nor the future. we live as if we were never going to die, and die as if we had never lived'

+who would like this twenty- dollar bill?
cassan said amer tells the story of a lecturer who began a seminar by holding up a twenty- dollar bill and asking: 'who would like this twenty- dollar bill?'
several hands went up, but the lecturer said: 'before i give it to you, i have to do something'
he screwed it up into a ball and said: 'who still wants this bill?'
the hands went up again
'and what if i do this to it?'
he threw the crumpled bill at the wall, dropped it on the floor, insulted it, trampled on it, and once more showed them the bill- now all creased and dirty.he repeated the question, and the hands stayed up
'never forget this scene' he said. 'it doesn't matter what i do to this money. it is still a twenty- dollar bill. so often in our lives, we are crumpled, trampled, ill- treated, insulted, and yet, despite all that, we are still worth the same'

all taken from like the flowing river by paulo coelho. for more thoughts and reflections go get it. a must- buy!

org ketegaq

ughh.. benci gle! aku benci org yg dok ceroboh2 hak org ni

wei tlgla sedar diri sket. tu bkn brg hg. bukan harta hg. da sah trang tang tang bnda tu salah. yg hg pi gatai2 ceroboh lg pasai pe. hg dok wat macam2 satg hg jgak yg rugi. hg wat keje bodo je. ee.. manusia kurang diajar btoi

menyusahkan aku je. huh.. sengal!

advice for today; know thyself

because it has lived its life intensely
the parched grass still attracts the gaze of passers- by
the flowers merely flowers,
and they do this as well as they can
the white lily, blooming unseen in the valley,
does not need to explain itself to anyone;
it lives merely for beauty
men, however, cannot accept that 'merely'

if tomatoes wanted to be melons,
they would look completely ridiculous.
i am always amazed
that so many people are concerned
with wanting to be what they are not;
what's the point of making yourself look ridiculous?

you don't always have to pretend to be strong,
there's no need to prove all the time that everything is going well,
you shouldn't be concerned about what other people are thinking,
cry if you need to,
it's good to cry out all your tears
(because only then will you be able to smile again)

MITSUO AIDA

excerpt from LIKE THE FLOWING RIVER by PAULO COELHO

wallawei!

weekend trip was amazing! enough said. tatau nk cte pe. too many things happened. and lots of sweeeeet memories. lots of snapping pix, makan, laughing. my mouth did sore and i sampai completely hilang sore sbb mmg tgh demam. and also shoppping!!! which burnt a HUGE hole in my pocket. i'm practically broke! huhu. meracau aku. altho there were a few major setbacks. like shibah tbe2 xleh join! smpat smpai ipoh je n kne rushing blk bsok pg. da kurang 1 korum =( and maro plak keje ahd & isnin (maro mmg pesalah! shibah dimaafkan)

my bunch of friends. lurve them!! rinduuuu lg... how i wish the trip can never end.. =(